Week 9 Story: The Captured Maiden
Darwen Tower. Source: BBC
There once was a young maiden who was walking through her flower garden trying to decide what flowers to pick for the day. After she had been in the sun for a few hours she decided to sit on the bench nearby and try to cool off. While sitting there she became extremely exhausted and fell asleep...
When she woke up she was no longer in her flower garden on the bench. She slowly stood up from the cot she was placed on and walked over to a small window in the wall. From there she could see that she was really high up and next to the sea... she then realized that she was in a really tall tower. She started to freak out when she heard a sound coming from a portion of the wall. Walking closer she could hear a voice on the other side of it.
"Hello, is anyone there?" she called out.
"Yes, it seems that we have both ended up here. Maybe that was meant be happen." the guy's voice stated.
"Can you please help me out of here?" she pleaded with it.
"I will help you out if you agree to marry me?" he proposed to her.
Upon hearing that question she immediately said no and just sat on the cot in her room until she fell asleep. She saw or heard from anyone else besides this voice on the other side of the wall. Somehow though food and drinks were in her place every morning despite no one showing up. So, the young maiden was up in that tower for many days until one day she went to the window and seen a person on the beach... it was a fisherman. Thinking that he could help her, she did everything that she could to try and get his attention. She was too far up though and soon he left the beach without her getting help from him. That night the young maiden wept with sadness and loneliness. So, when the guy on the other side of the wall asked for her to marry him again she said yes...
When she said yes the part of the wall she heard the voice from started to fall away stone by stone. There in its place stood a young man who she realized to be the fisherman from the beach... He just smiled at her and said "I knew we were meant to be, now we can stay here forever."
Bibliography: The Maiden Who Was Stolen Away from The Chinese Fairy Book by R. Wilhelm.
Authors Note: From the story of the maiden who has stolen away I decided to just keep the aspect of the young maiden, a tall building, and a guy who keeps asking her to marry him. In the story, she is swept away by a cyclone into a pagoda where there is a young man who says they are meant to be and continues to ask her to marry him even though she says no each time. One day she sees the young man turn into an ogre. After that she sees a guy walking by and she gets his attention by throwing down old clothes and he goes and tells her family. The brother comes and hurts the ogre. Then neighbors help the brother save her. In my story, I made it to where she never sees the guy and only hears him. Then one day she sees a fisherman but he does not end up helping her. I also made it to where she agrees to marry the guy and he ends up being the fisherman and does not let her leave the tower.
Hi Cheyenne!
ReplyDeleteI actually took some notes on this story for my reading notes so it was really nice to see an actual story using the original. In your first sentence after the initial dialogue, I think you might have meant to say "she had not seen or heard from anyone else . . ." It is interesting to see a different take on the original but with a sadder ending. I wonder if the maiden had anyone who would be frantically searching for her? I think you did really well in telling a story in a concise manner, making it a quick, fun read!
Hi Cheyenne!
ReplyDeleteYou definitely changed the story to have a more somber tone in the original. I took notes on the original, and I remember being happy that the maiden’s brother had gone to save her. The dialogue in this story is kind of choppy, but other than that great job!
Cheyenne,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story and was very curious to see how it was going to end. Now that I know that the fisherman was the young man, was it on purpose that the fisherman never heard the girl from the tower? I'm also really curious if she is now happy with her decision to marry the young man. I like your version of the story! It was very easy to follow and a pleasure to read! Good job!
Hi Cheyenne!
ReplyDeleteI really like your story. It was very entertaining and I like the descriptions that you started with. I just have one piece of advice, but it's kind of stylistic, so only adjust if you think it fits with your intent! You use the words 'she' and 'he' a lot, especially close together. I realize that the girl is the maiden here, but using the words the maiden sometimes would add some variety. Overall, great writing!